Cha Xiu Bao

Welcome to my blog

"I always say that chicken, pork, fish and duck are the original heroes of the board, each with a flavor of its own, each with its distinctive style; whereas sea slug and swallows nest are commonplace fellows with no character, in fact they're mere hangers-on (despite their costliness). I was once invited to a banquet given by a certain Governor, who gave each of us 4 taels of plain boiled swallows nest, served in enormous vase as huge as flower-pot. It had no taste at all. While other guests were obsequious in their praise of it, I said: 'We are here to eat swallows nest, not to take delivery of it wholesale.' If our host's object was simply to impress, it would have been better to put a hundred pearls into each bowl. Then we should have known that the meal had cost him tens of thousands, without the unpleasantness of being expected to eat the uneatable."             "Recipes of the Sui Garden" Yuan Mei 

Reverse psychology, this

A380-themed restaurant in Taiwan; serving you with, of course, nothing but the best of in-flight food.

 

 

Lover's Tears -- Heartbreak Sour & Spicy Noodles

Lover's Tears 情人的眼泪　

为什麼要对你掉眼泪？你难道不明白为了爱？ 

Why am I in tears for you? Don't you know that's for love?

只有那有情人，眼泪最珍贵，

Tears are only precious for true loves 

一颗颗眼泪都是爱，都是爱!

Every single drop is love, every single drop is love

为什麼要对你掉眼泪？你难道不明白为了爱？ 

Why am I in tears for you? Don't you know that's for love?

要不是有情郎，跟我要分开，我眼泪不会掉下来，掉下来。

I won't be in tears if my lover isn't leaving me, I won't in tears

好春才来，春花正开，你怎舍得说再会？

Spring is right here, and flowers are in full bloom; how can you be so cruel to say goodbye? 

我在深闺望穿秋水，你不要忘了我情深深如海。

I'm alone, missing you in my boudoir; please don't forget my love is as deep as the sea

为什麼要对你掉眼泪？你难道不明白为了爱？ 

Why am I in tears for you? Don't you know that's for love?

要不是有情郎，跟我要分开， 我眼泪不会掉下来，掉下来。

I won't be in tears if my lover isn't leaving me, I won't be in tears

我眼泪不会掉下来，掉下来。

I won't be in tears, I won't be in tears

In Search of the Perfect Ser Dou (Snake Pit) in town

The city’s a flood and our love turns to rust

Were beaten and blown by the wind

Trampled into dust

I’ll show you a place

High on the desert plain

Where the streets have no name

Contrary to the ravishing and love-or-death Madam Bai depicted in the famous folklore (白蛇傳) ‘Tale of the White Snake,’ I find it rather strange that the Cantonese mostly conjugates snakes to lazybones. For them, people on French leave are labeled as ser wong, or snake king (蛇王). The term ser dou (snake pit, in English) is the kind of hangouts for these good-for-nothings corporate leeches to fling themselves together. 

Granted that location is crucial for every good ser dou (蛇竇), it is more about attitude, and the kinship inside that count. Here’s some basics that must be followed for an ideal ser dou to be constituted:

1) it must breathe a dungeon-like aura. Metaphorically it’s like a prison must stay prison-like to breed a sense of belonging among cellmates (meaning nothing pejorative here). More to the point, the place must be dim, somewhat manky (barely acceptable), and seemingly forsaken by all (particularly your bosses) to achieve a stress-free slumbering-ship. Some classic giveaways for the quintessential loafer la-la land: a belying entrance to shield out unwanted disturbance, proximity to a public W.C. (or a trash storage), the basement of a haunted building, et cetera.

2) staff capable of providing you with the most lethargy service in this world; given the illegitimacy of the circumstances, the last thing you want is conspicuous consumption. In short, a perfume that tweets ‘I’m a desert island, go mind your own business’ well before you creak your first step inside.

But whatever the yardstick is, Rainbow Service on the 8th floor of TakShing House must be the place for the ultimate ser wong emancipation. It is completely on a realm of its own, epitomizing the kind of seclusion only spaceships deserve. 

The place is strategically ambushed among a fleet of dentists and doctors, suggesting better of a place for memorial services than one for restoration. As elusive as John Cusack’s office on floor 7½ of Being John Malkovich, there is no door knob to be found at the end of the shadowy corridor that pulls loafers of all stripes (to the black hole of vitality). What, no doorknob?! The door for the stealthy dining room is actually, now-you-see-me-now-you-don’t, hidden behind the emergency exit next to the registered address. Well, what else should we be surprised, save that we don’t need to land on some ditch in Yuen Long at the end of the meal (it’s New Jersey in the movie)?

Still, there’s an important etiquette not to be dozed off with. An honorable ser wong never greets anyone by name. A knowing nod and wink go a long way – the code of ser wong brotherhood calls for zero divulgence even upon whipping and lashing; otherwise, you’d only be a snake in the grass!

Rainbow Service 

Address: Room 810, Tak Shing House, 20 Des Voeux Road, Central 

Tel: N/A Opening Hours: 0900 to 1430 hrs; weekdays only 

(Note: don't tell them that you're sent by me)

Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto

Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto, domo...domo 

Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto, domo...domo 

Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto, domo...domo 

Thank you very much, Mr. Roboto 

For doing the jobs that nobody wants to 

And thank you very much, Mr. Roboto 

For helping me escape just when I needed to 

Thank you-thank you, thank you 

I want to thank you, please, thank you

Molecular cooking is so yesterday lol... bonus slideshow here

I want to become a cooking diva scout one day how do i do that?

Dear Mr. AllExpert,

Well my name is George W. Bao.  I am 16.  I live in Portland Street, Mongkok.  

I have been reading cookbooks and watching food shows for 11 years now. As you can pretty well figure out, I have been watching these kinds of stuff like since I was born. I always wanted to be involved in the cooking world one way or another. 

My question is, I want to be a scout for cooking diva one day. I am pretty good at scouting out hot, voluptuous and young gals good with spatula but I am only limited to some stuff. Like I can't afford to dine every night and hit on gals. I just watch gals cooking it from my house. I want to know what kinda of studying I need to do in college to get me ready and what else I need to do. I am not all that great at cooking myself. Right now I am mainly helping my mom to make breakfast; like cereal and stuff. I really want to learn some cooking skills after class but I have to much to worry about because I plan to start my own model agency too. I don't know what to do. I will be a sophomore next year so I kinda have 3 years left to decide but I need to know now.  

Bibendum on your iPhone

In case you haven't added it to your apps collection already. USD7 for NYC. No luck for Tokyo or HKG yet. 

A "wan" (bowl) of swine for a round of "rou"

What, are we gonna quit pork because of the swine flu? Not by a long shot. Here's some jokes about swine to lighten up the stoic face.

(1)

A learned scholar was hosting a dinner party for their four sons-in-law. The dining table was sprawled with all kinds of delicious dishes. To get everyone into the spirit, the sons were asked for verses of pleasant things in life that comes in seasons. The eldest one sparked off the game right away with "lurking a jazzy lawn in spring" 春遊芳草地. "Marvelous." said the father. The second son-in-law was equally sharp and followed with a witty riposte: "admiring the lotus pond in summer" 夏賞荷花池. The third son-in-law mused for a short while and said: "drinking osmanthus wine in autumn" 秋飲黃花酒. 

The scholar was so far very pleased by how quick-witted his sons-in-law were. Now his eyes rested on his youngest son-in-law, who so happened, unlike none of his well-educated brothers, was a illiterate lived on inherited wealth. His valet was dying to give him a prompt at the back: "My lord, try matching it with 'soothing snow-white poem in winter' 冬吟白雪詩!" Still the prompt was too dim for the son to hear it through. Minutes passed and the rest of the table started to exchange looks. Suddenly, the youngest son-in-law screamed in ecstasy when he spotted a dish on the table: "you don't say, it is "stir-fried pork with winter bamboo shoots 冬笋炒肉絲!"

Julie and Julia

What's for dinner? 

Hell yeah, I'm so gonna try this at my next fancy pancy meal

Canton's Got Talent

How can a slumdog eat like a millionaire in Hong Kong

Hi, my name is Jabol. 

I must confess the place I’m living now is a shack by the infamous Chungking Mansion, Tsim Sha Tsui. But this isn’t the place where I grown up. I used to live in an absolute dump past the outskirts of Varanasi, you know, a shithole close to the Ganges River. I fled this stinky town of mine and came to HK exactly 5 years, 4 months and 23 days ago when I knocked up my neighbor's daughter, who's 14, 1 months and 5 days old then. 

Good luck to her!

Oh, the pronunciation. Don't worry about this for a second, my friend if you can't pronounce any of the names I've just mentioned right. Most of my Chinese shithead friends can't either. For the Mandarins they usually mimed my name into 假波 "fake ball," while it’s always been easier for the Cantonese to go with 揸波 "squeeze the ball".  

Quite some farting buzzes I know. Yet to be honest, I ain't upset by all this. To tell you the truth, none of these balls can beat the smelly droppings from dogs and cows that I was forced to duck into when I was taken to the Ganges River as a kid. That I know for sure. Besides, they just don't know what I’ve amounted to after the big big financial meltdown. 

I’m the AIG, actually.

Hold on my friend, by AIG I mean "Anti-Immorality Guru,” not the sinking insurance business. You see, my daytime job as a tea boy cowering at the chachaanteng is just a cover for my real ID.  

As the Chosen One. I knew the answers. 

My expertise, as a AIG from the ghetto, is all about enlightenment on the cheap, as you'll see very soon. 

The case of vegetarianism in China and Chinese Buddhism

Why is that Buddhist monks in China are the only vegetarians in the world of Buddhism even though they are living in a food culture whose historical antiquity and pluralism that few, if any, from any other part of the world can rival?

Cases in point, monks of Thailand and Japan, bhikkhus of Korea, lamas in Tibet, whether they are Mahayanists (the school of great vehicle), Theravadists (small vehicle) or even Vajrayanists (diamond vehicle or secret mantra), none of them has any monastic rules that inextricably linked to a strict vegetarian diet now being adopted by the Buddhist monks in China.     

But before the reasons for such treachery are unfolded, let me first mark the fine line between vegetarianism as a monastic or ritualistic rules, zhai cai (齋菜) and vegetarianism as a dietary behavior, su cai (素菜). The distinction between the two is well worthwhile to point out to save confusion as we move onwards.

First and foremost, zhai cai is a dietary discretion affiliated to the practice of zhai jie (齋戒), which denotes the desistance (of something, e.g. meat, wine, sex or gamble) before a ceremony or rite. Similar to the practice of fasting in the West, it is meant to be strict and to serve mainly for religious and spiritual grounds. It should be noted however, the existence of zhai jie, and hence, eating zhai cai as a ritual has rooted in China well prior to the introduction of Buddhism. The abstinence of meat and wine before an ancestral veneration, as well as during the mourning period to manifest filial fidelity and respect has been a way of life ever since the Zhou dynasty (1045 - 256 BC). 

Second, the dietary restrictions between the two is also different in the way that a herbivorous monk or nun must also avoid the consumption of the five acrid and pungent foods, as stated in Shurangama Sutra. They are, namely, onions, leeks, garlics, Chinese chives and shallots. The fetid five, also known in ancient times as the wu hun (五葷) are forbidden because their undesirable ability to arouse senses and temperament. Look closer and you will see that the character hun (葷) is a word with the radical "艸" atop, which suggest explicitly the vegetal origin of it. Taoist adepts of yore also try their best to avoid in contact with these five vegetables for a rather varied reason -- for them, anything provocative is undesirable for the physical well-being and spiritual development, and hence impedes their attainment of immortality.  

Third, zhai jie can also be viewed to be a periodical fast, as in the case where Buddhist monks restrict their diet only in the morning. This shows another purpose of zhai jie: a discipline regimen aiding in meditation.

Vegetarianism as a diet, su cai on the other hand, aims to achieve benevolence and ahimsa (Sanskrit for non-violence) in a more liberal and flexible way than zhai cai does. The word "su" itself means plain, pure and simple so in its original sense it means to eat to modesty. This has proved to be popular among lay Buddhists and it is the concept used by vegetarian restaurants in general. One way or the other, it is inaccurate to label vegetarianism in China as simply as Buddhist cuisine since it can be a favored diet for Taoist and Confucianist too. (Edit: equally unfair for hippies and legion of PETA fans living in China as well). 

Now that I've illustrated the difference between zhai cai and su cai, we're ready to survey the why question, that is, why vegetarianism has become the characteristic of Chinese Buddhism.

Eating and Wu Xing, the Five Movements

     Based on observations of the natural world, our ancestors recognized that one mode to apprehending the continuous patterns of transformation and change in the universe is through a concept called the five movements. Note that although wu xing is traditionally and more commonly translated as the Five Elements, it nevertheless, lacks, 'elementarily' the sense of interaction and fluidity of wu xing 五行 in its original context -- the concept of wu xing is anything but static, in fact, the word "xing," was used as a verb to show the how dynamic and interacting the five forces are (行者行也)]. That's why "movements" is chosen over "elements" in the title.

     The first true account of the concept wu xing was found in the Classic of History, from a section known as the "Grand Norm," where we're given the brief list of wu xing: "the first [of these] is named Water; the second, Fire; the third, Wood; the fourth, Metal; the fifth, Soil." 《尚書•洪範》“五行：一曰水，二曰火，三曰木，四曰金，五曰土。The nature of each was further elaborated in the Record of Historians: "Water is to moisten and descend; Fire is to flame and ascend; Wood is to crooked and straighten; Metal is to yield and to be modified; Soil is to provide for sowing and reaping." 

      As the system of wu xing advanced further, it was taken to embrace all substances in the universe* Hence, it was believed that what these five movements corresponded to different aspects of mother nature also interlinked to the human beings. Thus, for an alchemist, wood, corresponds to the spring and wind in the natural world; whereas to traditional Chinese medicine, the same movement is responsible for the liver, gall bladder, eyes and tendons of our body.  A clear picture of these connection can be found at the table below. 

*some time before or around Han dynasty, this concept intermingled with that of Yin Yang, as the case made by Sima Qian in his Records of Historians -- sensible once you realized that they were both originated from the soothsaying circles.

	Wood	Fire	Soil	Metal	Water
Orientation	East	South	Center	West	North
Season	Spring	Summer	Late Summer	Autumn	Winter
Climate	Wind	Summer Heat	Dampness	Dryness	Cold
Yin Organ	Liver	Heart	Spleen	Lung	Kidney
Yang Organ	Gall Bladder	Small Intestine	Stomach	Large Intestine	Bladder
Color	Blue/Green	Red	Yellow	White	Black
Taste	Sour	Bitter	Sweet	Pungent	Salty

      The wisdom is easy to see: try the best to eat according to the divination shown in the table if you want the forces to work complementarily for your body. For example, if you have a weak liver, or a frail gall bladder, you ought to pursue a diet that is rich with green or blue, sour food. Two ready qualifiers are the green grapes and the spinach. On the other hand, for those who have aliment with their stomach or spleen, they should look for food that is both sweet and yellowish, say soy beans and honey for instance. Not only can they provide a much-needed nutrition boost for a strained digestive system, it can also wipe away the excessive dampness within, which is often triggered by an unhealthy spleen. You may want to check out some other lists of a five-element diet floating around the net [here and here]. 

 

Mona Lisa with burger grease is simply flabulous!

Hey dude, I think I come up that idea first with my dry-fried beef ho fun, gone chow ngau ho (干炒牛河)!  

[via AHT]

Why the best translation for Mapo Tofu has to be "Lady Numbness' Bean Curd"

The best translation for mapo tofu, as most of your Chinese-speaking friends would have put forth to you, should be pocked-face lady's bean curd. Until now, this is the most widely-believed version for the origin of mapo tofu, a simple dish made of tofu, spicy sauce and minced pork. Finely-minced pork hashed with some good use of cleaver, as evident at below.

 

However, I want to make a strong case today to put an end to this mistranslation, which was sordidly crafted by no one but husbands married with ugly pocked-face women out there on the street. 

Oh no, contrary to popular believe, mapo tofu wasn't began that way. There just isn't any Ugly-Betty DNA in mapo tofu.  

Rather, truth be told, it was created by chef married with a beautiful model wife whose face is well enough for facial cream. Mapo tofu was yield once upon a time when one day he was asked by his boss all of a sudden to cook up a pork dish together with tofu on the street. He was worry sick at the very beginning because he couldn't manage to find any cut board for him to chop up the pork meat with. But very soon he realized his worry was totally unnecessary when he saw his wife next to him. It was because his wife's back was, as the idiom goes, flat as board and, totally senseless due to strange and incurable sickness. 

"Darling listen, we'd really need to "bend" the rules here to keep my job. Can I use your back as cut board? It can't feel a thing whatsoever anyway, not even if it's under a knife, right?"

Mapo tofu, better known as lady numbness bean curd. Don't even try arguing.

Happy Year of Ox

I want to wish everyone a very healthy and tasty Year of Ox.

You know what, one downside of living with a dog is that it leaves you to think certain food is only meant for pets.  Take beef paddywack for example.  "Most commonly found in the pet department of stores where it is packaged dried as a dog treat/food," is the only accolade I managed to find when I looked it up on the net.  

But once again, having ate so many eccentric dishes in China over the years, I know very well our dining table is the last place on earth for anyone to think in conventional terms. It's a place that time and again puts leftover and scraps into the most insanely exciting delicacy.  Beef paddywack for one and the epiglottis of beef, the alignment muscle between throat and tongue -- like a beef tongue isn't mind-blowing enough? For the sake of yumminess, throw me some please!

In the meantime, share your meals with those you love and let's not forget those who don’t have the same access to great food like many of us do. Last year may not be as spectacular as it could be. But if we work it hard this year, maybe we can make something fabulous out of the trims too.  

Here's to a fantastic and feng yi zu shi ("to be well-fed and well-clothed" 豐衣足食) Year of Ox!

Michelin HK & Macao 2009, my two cents worth... (Part II)

Apart from showing the combination of perverse, hubris and lack of sportsmanship, there's also an all too familiar denial symptom one can find from a pimp when told his best stripper has huge cellulite problem. Shortcomings? Hell, no.

Ostriches can get away with sticking their heads in the sand, but the sad fact is, Chinese cuisine in Hong Kong is, overall, in a slump.  We need this wake-up call bad to make us look into the underlying problems of the self-proclaimed "paradise of gastronomy" before it's too late. Here are some lessons we could draw.

One, the diffusion of regional cuisines. 
Hong Kong is a land of utilitarianism. Under the veil of handy choices, what really going on is restaurateurs are herding all regional cuisines of China under a roof so that they aren't missing out any up-and-coming, cash-generating fad. That's why we've so many mishmashes called "Beijing, Sichuan & Shanghai" Jing-chuan-hu 京川滬 around town where cook imports from Guangdong are cropping up all-of-the-above food for you. In the course of it, we forget our roots and we show no sign of faith, and hence, no sense of direction, which earns us no recognition whatsoever. 

Two, the high turnover of chefs. 
Hong Kong will prove to be one the toughest places for Michelin to keep apace with the change of chefs. Kitchen in Hong Kong is a furious place with low loyalty steaming.  Restaurateurs plough through dozens of obstacle to achieve stardom only to find the guy who holds the hoak and wok is gone for good days before the guide publishs. High turnover of chefs equals to low consistency of food quality.

Three, settings and services suck.
This might be the rudiment for the omission of some local favorites. For instance, what adjourning to the entrance of Tin Heung House is nothing other than a public toilet. The staff of some famous noodle shops, on the other hand, excels in mimicking the pilgrim for beef brisket noodles to a visit to the most unruly mosque. More still, toilets that make insalubrious an understatement are not uncommon at all.  We all like good food and we really don't mind compromising in the quest of it, but chances are, people who keeps saying food is the only thing that matters are either someone who lives on CSSA (that is, Comprehensive Social Security Assistance) or someone who just got released from Guantanamo Bay. Or even more likely, never needs to pay.  We do deserve more when we fork out good money.

Once again, I welcome the Michelin debut because I think it's doing a good job in highlighting one of the biggest shortcomings we need to overcome: too many pour settings and services for restaurants with damn good food.  To the extent it's as much a crime as selling Patek Philippe in Wal-Mart! A little realignment won't be bad. 

Food critics en masse, don't get fooled by your own vaingloriousness. Dance to the music  -- read this, Chinese food is invented by us but it's not ours. Restaurateurs, be honest with yourself. Roll up your sleeves and work on the mistakes. Reel in one inch at a time and gradually you will make it big. Trust me, soon we'll see the coming of Michelin Osaka, Michelin Taipei, Michelin Singapore and so a myriad of it for cities in the East, it will be damn hard, if not embarassing, to pin up the "paradise of gastronomy" poster with only one three-star in your pocket by then.

Michelin HK & Macao 2009, my two cents worth... (Part I)

So far, the blather among the local press focuses on how biased is the list and how ridiculous the ranking is. All said, the first attempt of Michelin for a Hong Kong guide isn't receiving any star treatment.

On the first argument, many a Chinese food critic says the guide is undependable because the French doesn't know a thing about Chinese food.  However, for the sake of argument, I think it holds as much as appeal as one of the followings:

• I can't never date a French panty model because I am not French;
• Natalie Portman won't kowtow to my sheer hotness because she knows Jack about Chinese manhood;
• a online porn video store rejects my purchase of "Where The Boys Aren't IX" because I'm not a lesbian; and
• I can't never tell fresh spinach from rotten ones because I'm not a fucking farmer.

The ill appeal aside, I can guarantee you, as if there's nothing new under the sun, the same bunch of estimable Chinese food writers will muster their kind advices to readers like pants were on fire in a not so distant future on, guess what, French food! Tips on when and how to sample oysters from Brittany, milk-fed lamb from Pyrenees and et al...

Granted, the intrinsic values and sentiments of Chinese food could be mind-blowing, but there's no stopping for anyone to appreciate the beauty of it on face value. I also need to point out the peril to presume a Chinese must know the menu well given the vastness of China and complication of Chinese cuisine.  I mean, which Chinese we're talking here? Do you think a Sichuanese knows for sure the fine points of a good bowl of wonton noodles? Or conversely, for a Cantonese to understand something indigenous to Sichuan, and/or to some dishes from the other twenty odd provinces of China?  

The conspicuous absence of some all-time favorites and the shameful inclusion of some tourist traps also leave some critics to conclude the ratings on the list a gaffe.

Well, in the fullness of time, we'll see the guide is all about movement.  It is overall a very good list on dining ideas, even though I must confess I'm training hard to put the head of a chef from one of the two-star joints into a blender and slam his crotch with axe. Sloppy food he cooks, the dining experience is nevertheless compensated by a reasonably good settings and service.

Fact is, with all established parameters, the guide is never just about food. And what the media missing is the fact that the guide marks the very first time an international standard with well-known objectivity and discipline lands Hong Kong. Tokyo, with 10 Michelin 3-star restaurants, is the most star-studded city in the world with Paris gets stride for stride by 9 Michelin 3-star eateries.

But how many Michelin 3-star we got? Only One. For a place that takes pride in being the "gastronomy paradise," this is a real slap on the face to suggest a case otherwise, especially when you check out the population of the 3 places: Tokyo, 12 million; Paris, 11 million. Hong Kong? 7 million.

Ouch, the truth hurts.

Peasant food in China: a silent witness that says nothing's changed

"Ha, I wonder has she ever struggled against me during criticism meetings," my mom said it with a shrug after I watched her biding farewell to an acquaintance met on the street of Wuhan last November.

I was quite shocked, to be honest, by the insouciance accompanied the encounter because few words in China share the same level of grievousness with the word pi dou 批斗 ("struggle against"), back then an impalpable sucker punch devised by Mao Zedong solely to emaciate all intellectuals and elitism day to day across China.  In the name of revolutionary fervor, down was the enjoyment of the easy life, and so was the seeking of material incentives. As never seen before in the history of mankind, old customs, old habits, old culture, and old thought were eliminated with a single, immediate expurgation orchestrated by the Great Leader Chairman Mao.

To any chou lao jiu 臭老九 ("old and stinky No.9" -- being the lowest possible in the social class by the order of nine), a derogatory tag for the intellectuals, the agony and upheaval never rested in such tumultuous era. You sign endless letters of repentance just because you are born a zou zi pai 走資派 (the "fraction of bourgeois"); you got spit on the face because you are a landlord who knows no shame. The merciless fates for the creme de la creme, if yo could live it through when the curtain fell were all the same -- shang shan xia xiang 上山下鄉 ("climb the mountains and go down to the villages"). In a purge that swung a decade long, more than 17 million teenagers were sent to communal farms.  What awaited were dire days and poor food.

While this era seems singular, in fact it was not. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Look what we have now. Every kid wants to born rich as a zou zi pai. It is transpired, it's again good to be a chou lao jiu.  Shameless landlords, on the other hand, are rehabilitated to become the happiest and richest people alive in China. People leaving hometown are now moving back. The times they are a changin'.

Thirty years on, in comes the recurring love for peasant food, nong cun cai 農家菜. Nostalgia or health-consciousness, or anything else, the movement is here again.

Nigella Express for a truly happy new year!

My oh my, look how beautiful that necklace is!

It's that time of year again: How Much Does A Name Mean?

Okay, here I am, contemplating with my people on what name to be used for my introduction in a food show come X'mas time...

My people: How about Sik San (食神), the God of Eating?

ME: No way. It's been so misused to death of late. It's like nothing short of firmware update for useless gadget!

Me people: Why not Sik Kar (食家), the Virtuosi of Eating? It surely will give a very professional prospective to your image.

ME: Pshaw, that MUST be the single most pretentious name I've ever heard.  I mean, all I need is something simple to let the audience know they're listening to the voice of a dining maverick who's always in the exploratory pursuit of ephemeral gastronomic refinement and the intricacy of contemporary culinary glorification. Pure simplicity, something you can never belabored enough, right? You know, I just want kids listening to my show and say, "Wow, I want to be that guy when I grow up."  Is that too much to ask?

My people: (long pause)

My people: Shall we try Sik Sin (食仙), the Immortal of Eating, as Li Bai the Immortal of Poetry? As a gourmet desperado vs a ever-wandering poet, no?

Me: It almost sounds like having a crippled, teeth-falling pensioner crawling on your back. I need tenacity.  People, where is the sparkle! 

My people: Ah, let's call you a Sik Jing (食精), the Spirit of Eating?

ME: (long pause)... Fabulous. Why don't you keep that for your facial?

My people: Sik Mor (食魔), the Demon of Eating, perhaps?

ME: I'm not a necrophilia.

Me people: Then Sik Kong (食狂), the Lunatic of Eating?

ME: Well, that's way too one-dimensional.  People won't think of me as a gourmet. They will only picture me as a madman on the loose with bloodstain all over.  Creepy Friday the 13th with a doggy bag full of kungpow chicken...

My people: Sik Bar (食霸), the Intimidating Champion of Eating?

ME: That sounds more like a bilker than gourmet to me.

My people: Sik Wong (食王), the King of Eating?

ME: Bugger off! It's more like a moron from those speed-eating contests.

My people: Or Sik Ci (食痴), the Fetishist of Eating?

ME: Listen up: what we need here is something that is hotter than the surface of the sun, not a retarded who needs exorcising!

My people: Ah, Sik Daan (食單), which could mean the One and Only of Eating. Just peerless you; a man who needs no introduction. Awesomeness besides, this also bears the same pronunciation with the character "menu" in Chinese, which is super cool. Ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, please welcome La Menu!

ME: Aha, now we're seeing progress. But I afraid it might backfire when I introduce myself to a bunch of waiters...

My people: Can we try the Wow of Eating, Sik Woo (食糊), connoting the winning hand in mahjong playing on the one hand and the wow factor of yours truly the other?

ME: That's original for cry out loud! But what if I order something that's deep-fried? Wouldn't it automatically make me Sik Jaa Woo, a phony?

2 hours later...

ME: Wait, get this, Sik Zi (食子). Alike Kongzi (Confucius), Laozi (Laocius) and Zhuangzi, great minds of ancient China, I am the Master of Eating. I am philosophizing and transcending the game of eating to a whole new level.  I impart wisdom of eating to people; I let them know there is still light at the end of their barrel.

My people : You mean tunnel in the last one, right? OMG, this one is so powerful it hurts. Oh it's almost like you are the reason why people love to eat! [edit note: my people are wagging their index finger when they gave me this praise unanimously]

ME: Ho ho ho! Tell people it's Christmas, let them konw Sik Zi is coming to town. Ho ho ho!

Smelling flame and curry (like totally unrelated)

Gentlemen, meet Flame, a meaty and hearty cologne from Burger King. 

On the other hand, source close to the situation has told this blog that in the true sense of randomness, Luk Yue Teahouse and many other teahouses besides are set to release a new line of fragrance hinting the smell of steamed bun with BBQ pork just in time for the Chinese New Year. 

{edit note: both highly recommended before dining with vegetarians and vegans}

[via aht]

If that doesn't stoke any excitement, check out this funny piece about why Brits are given curry in buckets.

A Very Se-rious Cookbook for Early Christmas (hopefully a white one)

True is that the recipes may appear somehow "oscillating" to "reproduce" in the kitchen, "strictly" speaking however, this classy, ground-breaking cookbook will still make you drool like a fool.

December 2, Michelin Hong Kong and Macao debut announced

Restaurants awarded three stars:

1. Lung King Heen -- must call timeout for a Chinese lesson: Lung means "dragon" here, not "paired compound saccular thoracic organs that constitute the basic respiratory organ of air-breathing vertebrates"
2. Robuchon a Galera (only entry from Macao)

Restaurants awarded two stars:

1. Amber
2. Bo Innovation -- Call me outmoded but I'm not sold on a chef who cooks with cigar in his mouth at all, you?
3. Caprice -- is it a first for Michelin? Both Lung King Heen & Caprice are from FourSeasons Hong Kong!
4. L’Atelier de Joel Robuchon -- it is getting a bit boring to see this again and again, ain't it?
5. Shang Palace
6. Summer Palace
7. T’ang Court

Restaurants awarded one star:

1. Fook Lam Moon
2. Forum
3. Hutong
4. Lei Garden (IFC)
5. Lei Garden (Tsim Sha Tsui) -- when was the last time you saw Michelin doleing out star to chains?! Mind you, unlike Ducasse, Keller or Ramsey's, the Lei Garden doesn't tout on the fame of their chefs at all. A palpable victory for restaurateurs over the unsung kitchen heroes in our culture.
6. Ming Court
7. Petrus
8. Pierre
9. Regal Palace
10. Shanghai Garden
11. The Golden Leaf
12. The Square
13. Tim’s Kitchen
14. Yung Kee

Yippy! I am so gonna plan a culinary pilgrimage to Hong Kong next year with the guide.

Wait, I AM living in Hong Kong... Damn, half the excitement just gone.

Okay, my city, right or wrong... But still, the remaining half faded out too now that it occurs to me all restaurants described on the guide as either worth a special journey or detour are reachable with an Octopus card*... [* equivalent to the Oyster card of London]

Market Scene: Wuhan -- Part I, a photo set first

Granted, by almost every measure, rice-throwing, tyre-pushing, seedling-transplanting, sprinting with sandbag-loading with make-believe 'harvest' and etc. are quite the least sports you'd have expected to make the cover of Sport Illustrated, but these highlights from the National Peasant Games held last month in Quanzhou, though at times raking with amateurish falters, still conveniently reflects a nice touch of charisma that's uniquely China.

What other use can these races put to then? A prompt harvest and delivery by the farmers that guarantees fresh buy in the market, if nothing else...

[Pictures above courtesy of Xinhuanet and Mark Ralston of ATP]