New Year's Resolution: Better Chopstick Etiquette

Notice anything different, no? Well, I managed to put up a little icon (they call it "favicon") in the address bar next to the URL. It is a pair of chopsticks. Silly, yo? I was trying to turn my favorite chaxiubao picture into this favicon thing at the outset, but the figure was too small and vague and ended up more like three small white dots than anything else.

Now we're at the dawn of a new year, why not we make up a New Year's resolution. One that's reachable instead of those "I gonna climb Mont. Everest, and surf less blogs" yearly trash that we all know will never happen? And since we've been mentioning chopsticks early on, why not we stick to it? How about some chopstick etiquette and taboos that are rarely explained in English?

Without further ado, here're the a resolution for year 2006 -- better chopstick etiquette:

1. Don't put your chopsticks recklessly on the table. Always rest your chopsticks properly and evenly. If you put them heedlessly on the table, you kind of bring bad luck to all the diners eating with you. Old-timers would link your unwitting error with misfortune, or even death, since "3 lengths and 2 shortnesses" (三長兩短) is a Chinese colloquialism referring to coffin (made by 3 long and 2 short pieces of wooden board before the top is covered up).

2. Don't "curse on the main street" (罵大街). old-timers in Beijing, meanwhile, would say you're cursing on the main street if they saw you using chopsticks with your index finger pointing out. It is even worse to point someone with your chopsticks -- the Chinese take of giving the finger to someone.

3. Don't lick the chopstick on your mouth. While it is perfectly appropriate to put food into your mouth with chopsticks; it is flat out impolite to lick your chopsticks before you use it.

4. Don't beat the bowl with your chopsticks. Truth is, only beggars do this to draw the attention of others. It has long been regarded as a sign of poor upbringing.

5. Don't clasp dish while your bowl is still loaded with food. This will be a sign of greed and audacity. Pick new item only when you've finished what's in your bowl (relax, the rice don't count).

6. Don't rummage the plate. One of the most annoying mistakes is to rummage the plate in an attempt to look for what you want. No one want to have a go on your leftovers. So be decisive. Aim, pick and leave.

7. Don't water the tablecloths. If you really have a hard time in picking up the dish with chopsticks, bail yourself out with a spoon. It is perfectly alright and way better than making a fool of yourself by dripping all the source of the dish on the table, or worse, on other dishes.

8. Don't clucth food with the wrong ends of the chopsticks. Always use the sharper ends.

9. Don't poke dish with one chopstick like a lollipop. It's cute if only you're a toddler. It brings humiliation to all your companions. Again, try to catch the food with the aid of a spoon.

10. Last, don't prick the chopsticks in the rice or dish. It looks like the incense sticks burning in front of a tomb. Diners around you would say you're putting a spell on them.