Political snarl-ups aside, I must confess I was in total communion with the bunch of cordon bleus in France when their vigorous attempt to have French cuisine declared a world treasure came to my comprehension.
In fact, as the treasurer for FROGS, (acronym for 'Fraternity for Reviving Oriental Gastronomic Skills', a culinary organization I just got a berth on in the wake the plan was announced), I took it upon myself to follow suit what our respectable French maestro did and started sending UNESCO a suite of emails day after day to state the case for Chinese cuisine, as foolhardy and enthusiastic as possible. The daily process of pleading the inclusion of our intangible inheritance, is condensed hereunto:
Day 1: Once for all, Ah-Yat Abalone (阿一鮑魚) of Hong Kong. After all, there's no denying all well-heeled travelers from the mainland are stampeding on their tour guides to get a table at this abalone supremacy.
Day 2: A soup that's second to none, Ah-Yee tasty soup (阿二靚湯 'Soup by the other one' -- poetic translation for 'soup by a concubine'), a hidden gem from all over China that's never be documented before, unjustly.
Day 3: Never a dicey pick, the baozi of three dices (三丁包子) from Yangzhou.
Day 4: The ever good-spirited four-joy meatballs (四喜丸子) from Suzhou.
Day 5: The wonderful five-flavor meat dices (五香肉丁) -- fifty million FrenchmanSzechuenese can't be wrong, right?
Day 6: A must go whenever in Beijing: the condiments and pickles at Liubiju (六必居).
Day 7: Foodie's seventh heaven that is seven-star fishballs (七星魚丸) from Fujian.
Day 8: A treasurership at for any cook who can do the eight-treasure congee (八寶粥) right and nice.
Day 9: A twist and shout festival for the 'nine-twist intestine' (九轉大賜) from Shandong.
Tick, tick...
Day 100: Pak Fook tofu pudding (百福豆腐花). Hong Konger's answer to Italian's mozzarella, without the faintest risk of melamine overload (up to this nanosecond, sigh).
Tick, tick... No news from UNESCO...
Day 1000: Never mind the thousand a year or a handsome husband. Just bite on the thousand-layer sponge cake with custard (奶皇千層糕)!
Tick, tick, tick... Still no news from UNESCO...
Just when I were about to give up my world treasure whack after sending 1000 pieces of unanswered application, a email from UNESCO showed up in my blackberry.
The people of UNESCO officially asked me to stop the patriotic endeavor because, in their words, their email server will likely get clogged up if all the chefs in China copy my moves and start launching likewise petition.
No worries, I replied.
They are too busy cooking.
