What, are we gonna quit pork because of the swine flu? Not by a long shot. Here's some jokes about swine to lighten up the stoic face.
(1)
A learned scholar was hosting a dinner party for their four sons-in-law. The dining table was sprawled with all kinds of delicious dishes. To get everyone into the spirit, the sons were asked for verses of pleasant things in life that comes in seasons. The eldest one sparked off the game right away with "lurking a jazzy lawn in spring" 春遊芳草地. "Marvelous." said the father. The second son-in-law was equally sharp and followed with a witty riposte: "admiring the lotus pond in summer" 夏賞荷花池. The third son-in-law mused for a short while and said: "drinking osmanthus wine in autumn" 秋飲黃花酒.
The scholar was so far very pleased by how quick-witted his sons-in-law were. Now his eyes rested on his youngest son-in-law, who so happened, unlike none of his well-educated brothers, was a illiterate lived on inherited wealth. His valet was dying to give him a prompt at the back: "My lord, try matching it with 'soothing snow-white poem in winter' 冬吟白雪詩!" Still the prompt was too dim for the son to hear it through. Minutes passed and the rest of the table started to exchange looks. Suddenly, the youngest son-in-law screamed in ecstasy when he spotted a dish on the table: "you don't say, it is "stir-fried pork with winter bamboo shoots 冬笋炒肉絲!"
(2)
A man treated his visiting friend for a home dinner. There's only one dish on the table: a bowl of tofu. "Tofu is my life. Nothing in this world can beat it." so proclaimed the man. Few months passed and the man got invited by his friend in reciprocal. This time round, there're two dishes on the table. One was braised pork and the other tofu. Strangely, the man's chopsticks didn't touch the tofu at all from start till end.
"What's wrong with the tofu? I thought you say it's your life when we dine last time," his friend asked curiously. The man returned without too much of a thought: "My life? I can give it off whenever I see the pork."
