Dear Boss Wang,
First of all allow me to express my sincerest congratulations to you and your team for putting off such a classy act of promotion stunt strategy. I mean, sweet Confucius, who would have thought this up but you, a man of the distinctive sophistication and vision? Giving discount to half-naked dudes and chicks in miniskirts?! Pure genius. 100% marketing gold.
I know that someone out must be sniffing at what you're doing. But man, please ignore them.
This dress less and pay less methodology is anything but a sign of decadence and moral deterioration. Quite the contrary, I take it a sign of advancement. It's totally the way it ought to be -- that's what dress code is for, right? More than anything, it shows to the world that we, as a nation, has come of age and that we have nothing to hide.
And you know what, I bet you're a patriotic Communist. Just when our faith to the Party is squandering because not a sane man in China can afford to buy house, you single-handedly managed to bring the faith back by telling us what is it all about socialism with Chinese characteristics other than a yellow ox leaving a dump of dang by the storefront of the Starbucks somewhere in Anhui. One step at a time, you show the world our true colors. You show us what is nudism with Chinese characteristics (富有中國特色的裸露主義). You're absolutely right. Is there anything in the world that's easier to understand than our own bodies?
Gosh, the scheme is all coming together:
- Strangers and friends gathering to eat on a round table, classic scene for any, I mean any Chinese film.
- Half-naked instead of full monty, it's a bit wishy-washy at first glance but in essence totally in line with the teachings from the Doctrine of the Mean (中庸之道). Either upper or lower but can't have it all. Just like Chairman Mao once said, "Either the east wind prevails over the west wind or the west wind prevails the east wind." Wow is the only word I can put for such Chineseque.
- And then to say no materialism and to dress low? Man, that's a bull eye shot for the spirit of typical Chinese frugality.
- Speaking of good spirit, we all know how pragmatic Chinese are. Eating in a sleep-like outfit really saves time for all of us -- we're going to get laidbed after dinner whatsoever, why not undress beforehand so that no one needs to second guess what everyone else is up to? Hello everyone, the first date with your lover at the restaurant please? Just imagine how much faster the night could wrap up if you were eating face to face in undies...
Boss Wang, you ARE such a brainiac!
But there's more, way more. You see what matters most among what matters most (重中之重) and you make it look so easy.
You not only show us how far far ahead of the game you are, you also let the world knows how much you care about our environment, which is a scarcity in China that's holy enough to get you beatification. The maths is simple: we dress less so that no one needs any air-con; go half-naked and have our hairless arms reflecting moonlight in the dark so that we don't need any illumination. What have we got here?
Zero CO2 emission, tada! Global warming is ended and world is saved in your hand. Boss Wang, I swear Noble prize is just around the corner waiting for you.
Boss Wang, there's so many more compliments I wanna say to you out of my chest but I think I'd better stop my gibberish here because you must be really busy with your operation. Anyways, keep up the good work!
p.s. If I were you, I would cut the table clothes back as well. Otherwise, there's no telling who's eating naked, right?