Three guys die together in an accident and go to heaven.
When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks."
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first guy accidentally steps on one.
St. Peter immediately appears on the scene, accompanied by the ugliest woman the guy ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly woman!"
The next day, the second guy accidentally steps on a duck, and again St. Peter appears, and with him is another extremely ugly woman. He chains them together with the same admonishment: they will be bound for eternity.
The third guy has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly woman, is very VERY careful where he steps. He manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to him with the most gorgeous woman he has ever laid eyes on, a very tall, tan, curvaceous, sexy blonde. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The guy remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"
The woman replies, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck."
Christmas is the season of forgiveness, at least so they say. But a MV/infomercial with a bunch of gaydashing dancers hoofing around a cougarelegant woman is not gonna do the trick, no less if they're selling artificial butter.
Well, the confession is simple. As hard as I live everyday of my life trying to be taken as a savvy wine snob the truth is, I don't understand the slippery business that is wine label at all. I know the grapes and I know mostly what it does but there's always something about the wine I'm drinking that I can't explain. I mean, ALWAYS.
The thing is, I find that nonsense whenever winemakers wrap up a wine talk by saying "I'd like to say more, but I'd better let the wine speaks for itself." I know it's suppose to be rhetoric but still, it makes no sense even if it's just a manner of speaking for the guys. Golly, it's flat out gibberish. Dude, fill me in, it's just a damn liquid and it can't speak no matter how hard I slosh it in my mouth!
I think there's scheme behind this. Wine people are the only bunch who wants to educate us this way so as to sell more. Let's use pork to draw an analogy. We'd describe a well-cooked pork as tender, juicy and what not but we'd never be expected to argue over where it's from, and when and how the hog was butchered, or whether he's chopped down into pieces in a full moon. No, the hog wasn't killed in 2005 and sorry to disappoint you, that was a year of bad weather so the harvest was extremely bad. In fact, I've quitted reading the wine labels seriously for information that I wanted since I figured out my mouth is programmed to eat and swallow, not to decipher the secrecy of the world as the winemakers want me to. In the long run, I'll only see the appeal of blind wine tasting wine when there's something likewise for pork and beef -- and yep, no body is leaving this dining room until someone can tell me how and where this banana was raised.
And if you're still with me up to now, I'd like to introduce to you the best wine I've ever tasted in my life. I knew it the moment I saw it, even without tasted it. Absolutely!
It's said that a country gets the foodies it deserves. Look, fine dining in a fast food nation, albeit in some distorted ways... This lovely blog just reminds me a book I bumped into at the bookstore this morning --How to Be a Hepburn in a Hilton World. There's such a lot of world to see, ain't it?
The man, identified only as Martin E, was working on a recipe involving liquid nitrogen when there was "a huge explosion", according to the Berliner Morgenpost.
One of the 24-year-old's hands was instantly torn off by the force of the blast, while the other was later amputated in hospital.
While feeling bad for the young chef in the news, it reminds me a famous quote by a kendoka (master of kendo) whose name I can't remember: "Those who do not fear the sword they wield have no right to wield a sword at all."
Speaking of the devil... some breaking news about him at here.
The Sony people should totally ask me first: their new production could have 1.3 billion more viewers digging had it titled itself either "Cloudy With a Chance of 4-head Oma Abalones" or Cloudy With a Chance of Dailian Sea Slugs". It's too late now...
Well my name is George W. Bao. I am 16. I live in Portland Street, Mongkok.
I have been reading cookbooks and watching food shows for 11 years now. As you can pretty well figure out, I have been watching these kinds of stuff like since I was born. I always wanted to be involved in the cooking world one way or another.
My question is, I want to be a scout for cooking diva one day. I am pretty good at scouting out hot, voluptuous and young gals good with spatula but I am only limited to some stuff. Like I can't afford to dine every night and hit on gals. I just watch gals cooking it from my house. I want to know what kinda of studying I need to do in college to get me ready and what else I need to do. I am not all that great at cooking myself. Right now I am mainly helping my mom to make breakfast; like cereal and stuff. I really want to learn some cooking skills after class but I have to much to worry about because I plan to start my own model agency too. I don't know what to do. I will be a sophomore next year so I kinda have 3 years left to decide but I need to know now.