Abridged Script by Chaxiubao
Ext. Kuta Beach
Chaxiubao ate (unaccompanied) stall after stall along the beach to establish that he's the badass when it comes to street food. He smells something good and he owns it. No mercy.
See? If you want to make it in life, you have to be like me, boys. What's the song you guys playing? I gonna make a request. Oooh, look at the beautiful beach. I feel Beach Boys. How about some goodies from the Beach Boys?
The Kuta Gang
We ain't know any Beach Boys. How about something from The Beatles? "Let it be"?
Chaxiubao (humming and clapping along with tunes while chewing)
This is good. Fruit salad with chili sauce, and shrimp powder? This is A. And what's this? I got here steamed rice, some noods, fried chicken, dried shrimps here and there, poached egg, lots of chili and some fish sauce. I don't give a damn what it is. I'm giving it a A plus!
The Kuta Gang finishes with the Beatles and switches to U2's "With or Without You."
Chaxiubao (laughing out in his typical comical-looking smile, a la Jack Nic's typical badass impression; steamed rice are beaming to the beach in all directions)
See? If you want to make it in life, you have to be like me, boys. Eating alone can be fun. Look at me, isn't eating alone the best way to make friends? Boy, do we love
screweat ourselves (食自己) or what! Kids? 10 seconds of choice and 20 years of misery?! Ditch that to hell!