Cha Xiu Bao

Kuta Beach Eats, Bali

THE DEPARTED
Abridged Script by Chaxiubao

Fade in:

Ext. Kuta Beach

Chaxiubao ate (unaccompanied) stall after stall along the beach to establish that he's the badass when it comes to street food. He smells something good and he owns it. No mercy.

Chaxiubao
See? If you want to make it in life, you have to be like me, boys. What's the song you guys playing? I gonna make a request. Oooh, look at the beautiful beach. I feel Beach Boys. How about some goodies from the Beach Boys?

The Kuta Gang
We ain't know any Beach Boys. How about something from The Beatles? "Let it be"?

Chaxiubao (humming and clapping along with tunes while chewing)
This is good. Fruit salad with chili sauce, and shrimp powder? This is A. And what's this? I got here steamed rice, some noods, fried chicken, dried shrimps here and there, poached egg, lots of chili and some fish sauce. I don't give a damn what it is. I'm giving it a A plus!

The Kuta Gang finishes with the Beatles and switches to U2's "With or Without You."

Chaxiubao (laughing out in his typical comical-looking smile, a la Jack Nic's typical badass impression; steamed rice are beaming to the beach in all directions)
See? If you want to make it in life, you have to be like me, boys. Eating alone can be fun. Look at me, isn't eating alone the best way to make friends? Boy, do we love screweat ourselves (食自己) or what! Kids? 10 seconds of choice and 20 years of misery?! Ditch that to hell!

My new adventure and the Bangkok Delights

On the top left you'll find a link to my new stunt: a new blog in a title called Wok'nRoll. Yes, I Love Wok'nRoll. Don't cha? And you can easily tell by the name that it's about food, right? What makes it different from the one you're reading, meanwhile, is that it is written in my mother tongue, Chinese that is. That partly explains my tardiness in updating this one with posts...

On the right you'll find a link to a Flickr set packed with 78 photos called Bangkok Delights. Just come back from a three-day stint there. That also partly explains why I've been slow with updates.

Did I mention how the fried grasshopper tasted alike? You can easily find these leggy bugs, considered by many Thais as a delicacy from the street hawkers. For just 1 Hong Kong dollar, you can have one to bite with; and to test how far down you're on the road to freakiness. With a fiver, on the other hand, you can get a full bag of these grasshoppers and prove to everyone that you ARE a freak in the run. If you ask, I've to say it tasted quite like fried shrimp, I guess, with less flesh inside. But the head part was a rather nutty chew. That's why I'd recommend you to swill it down with some beer (just in case you want to)...